New Zealand 2010

So, after recovering from several heart attacks I suffered last Thursday due to our performance in Valencia we finally managed to go through our photos and all that. For the technically advanced, I’m including a map of the route we took this year. I’m afraid this is going to be a rather lenghty post.

What’s missing on the map is the logistically advanced foreplay. Landed at Auckland International roughly two hours late. After informing airport staff of our desperate need to reach a connection rather pronto we were moved to the head of the biosecurity queue and were through it in no time. It’s funny, even stating such a request in Frankfurt would have probably landed us in prison (though we Schöneberg boys enjoy cavity searches by uniformed men).

NZ sunshine rays are to the Tanmaster what anger is to the Hulk: My already pretty incredible muscles bulged, I started to eminate bronze-coloured rays, picked up all our baggage along with the Reisebegleitung and glided over to the Domestics terminal. What is normally a 15 minute walk I managed in only 5 minutes, thanks to my superpowers. Of course this did not go unnoticed, by the time we got to the terminal it was already full of Kiwi girls ripping their clothes from their sexy bodies. But I had a mission to fulfill and the Tanmaster withstood the temptations of the flesh, kissed a few babies on the forehead, and we hopped onto the flight to Wellington. I do love Air New Zealand. And I especially love their new safety briefing video on the plane: All roles are played by Air NZ staff, they’re all naked, wearing only body painting, even the CEO plays a role (baggage handler in the second clip) … ingenious marketing. Although our CEO would need quite a bit of workout before we could present him like this, harhar. Check it out:

And check this out as well, especially the old lady saying „I do love a man in uniform“ at the end:

Well anyway. At Wellington we checked in for our next flight with SoundsAir to Picton. Although we learned after a few minutes that it was to windy in Picton so the plane would take us to Blenheim instead and they would take us to Picton by bus. Whatever. The plane was a nice little 10 seater and we had some beautiful views over Cooks Strait and the Sounds. On the bus from Blenheim to Picton the SoundsAir girls told us that the Picton Floatplane, which was supposed to take us from Picton to Hopewell Lodge, wasn’t running either (too windy), but the airline had already phoned the watertaxi and arranged for the last watertaxi to wait for us. They drove us right to the pier, we hopped on and after one more change of boats halfway had made it to Hopewell Lodge, finally. But just imagine this happening in Germany – no way this would work. I mean, the Floatplane guy had phoned the airline that they were carrying two passengers he was supposed to pick up but couldn’t and then the airline arranged for the watertaxi transport and all that. Amazing, again showing what can-do attitude and true hospitality is all about.

So, without further ado, here’s the route, more pictures and text after dinner. Pizarro forever, btw.

New Zealand 2010 auf einer größeren Karte anzeigen