Paul Atreides

The original title of this post was Kill all Hippies. Das wollte ich mal gesagt haben. Ansonsten bin ich aber natuerlich positive and happy and that’s why I changed it to my new name.

Letzten Donnerstag in Picton angekommen nach vier fantastischen Tagen in Hopewell. Definitely top three of all stays in NZ.

In Picton we went straight to the Post fucking Office but the driving license hadn’t arrived yet. So I parked packs and girlfriend at the i/site and went to see the rental company guys to let them know that we cannot pick up the car … . „Ah, driving-license is just a piece of paper. If you assure me that you have a valid German driving license, that’s fine with me.“ Well, so they actually gave nme the car without a license. not too bad, eh? Credit card is actually more important to them. I then arranged for the letter to be forwarded to Wanaka, where we’ll be in ten days time … ich bin gespannt, ob das Ding dann angekommen ist. Ansonsten kriege ich wohl bald in Deutschland eine neue mit suessem foto.

Anyway, got the car, got on what passes as highway in this part of the world and headed straight for Golden Bay. This is the second time now that I’ve used the word „straight“, you notice that? Physically strong, morally straight usw. Aber: I’m not only the Tanmaster, I’m also officially the Gaymaster, since no male being can widerstehen meinen Schoeneberg-trainierten Wimpern. Yee-ha, auf nach Alabama!

I had nearly forgotten how much I hated the drive up/down Takaka Hill, but it’s worth it in the end. We spend three days in Pohara at the Sans Souci Inn which was ok, but I wouldn’t go back there. There were towels, all right, but fusselige. And it’s run by evangelical ecohippies not from outerspace but from switzerland and germany which sucks major arse. But still, not too bad. The beach is stunning, we went hiking along Wharariki Beach and in the Abel Tasman which were both absolutely brilliant. We didn’t go to Farewell Spit since access is by tour only and we would have to get up at 5.xx in the morning which is definitely a no-no on a holiday. So screw Farewell Spit and screw the eco-hippies.

But Wharariki Beach, what an amazing landscape. Dramatic sand dunes, wild sea. I called out to Shai Hulud and he answered. So we rode across the Dunes and slaughtered all the Sardaukar troops … . Ooops, I probably shouldn’t have tried those hippie shrooms. But I do look a lot like Kyle MacLachland these days. From now on, I will be known as Paul Atreides, the tanned Gaymaster. Yesterday me and my fellow Fremen warriors drove the extremly scenic gravel road from Pohara to Totarunui and hiked up to Separation Point and back. Stunning. Unspoilt, nearly deserted beaches, regenerating forest, and more of those shrooms … aaaaaah, kill all the Harkonnen!!! The little Fremen girlfriend is still refusing to go kayaking but I’m working on that … .

I’ve sobered up somewhat. Today it was back up the hill, then down again into Motueka where we stopped to stop and write this. We’ll move on to Westport/Cape Foulwind next. It’s called Cape Foulwind although I haven’t been there yet, strange. But we’ll see.

I also have a new measurement for the amount of excrements produced: shovels. Yes, that’s what composting toilets do to you, tree-hugging hippie crap. Dagegen bin ich echt sauber und geduscht.

Love, peace, and harmony, USB port not working here, so no photos today but I PROMISE! Once we’ve harvested all the spice I’ll be back!